The following is a post taken from my 2018 book, EDDIE. I am just in the process of republishing the book in a second edition (basically a revitalized cover and upgrade in the visibility on Amazon and other outlets.) EDDIE was taken from notes and social media posts I logged while traveling with my wife from Vermont to Florida in our antique Motor Home, christened by my middle son as “Cousin Eddie.” The book was written for the sake of the memories, but as I formatted it for publication, I was struck by the incredible lessons the Lord taught me about myself, as I nursed that 41 year-old block of tin on wheels from New England to Disney World. The text herein is taken from chapter 9 – Reflections. If you enjoy a good, humorous read, you might want to pick up a copy from my bookstore or from Amazon.
I moved from North Carolina to the northeast in 1967. Two
years later, I went back to North Carolina, put a ring on Barbara’s
finger and brought her back north with me. We spent two years
together in Western Massachusetts while I finished college and in
the fall of 1971, I agreed to pastor a small church in southern
Vermont.
We moved to the Brattleboro area in February of 1972 and
Bryan (our first-born) was born in August of that same year. What ensued from that point were many years of ministry during which we have built wonderful and endearing friendships, engaged in years of rich ministry; often despite us more than because of us, and suffered some moments of very regrettable failure.
More than once I have been the victim of my own ego, the
engineer of my own downfall, and the instrument of great pain and
disappointment in others. I have at times impeded the progress of
the Kingdom rather than to advance it and have brought shame
upon the Master instead of bringing Him glory. Though I
understand I am as prone to human frailty as any, and more so than
a lot; and even though I am completely conversant with the
Biblical reality that God forgives us of our sins when we have a
repentant heart; I still look back with an ache that wishes I had
been a better man, a better father, a wiser, more spiritually mature
pastor so that so many people I love might have suffered fewer
wounds and less disappointment.
Over the last few days I have been reminded that God is
fully aware of my weaknesses and despite them can use me. He is
able to overpower my frailty and design the perfect instrument to
prick my overblown ego and bring me again and again to a place of humility. I can also see more clearly this week how richly God
has blessed me, in spite of my failures, in spite of my sometimes poor judgments. There is much fruit growing up behind me for
which I must give God the glory.
During the last week or so Barbara and I have made our
way to Florida enjoying some hilarious moments along the way
and enduring some difficult times with a level of grace that can
only come from God. In the ensuing days, our children have all,
finally, gathered with us along with some precious friends.
When Barbara and I first moved to Vermont there were just
the two of us. I was so young and so arrogant I had no idea what I
didn’t know. There are now 23 of us and we are all gathered in
Orlando enjoying a great time together. Five children and 12
grandchildren and not one of them unaccounted for in the
Kingdom.
The words of the Psalmist weigh heavily upon my heart tonight:
Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that
build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman
waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit
up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his
beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of
the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a
mighty man; so are the children of his youth. Happy is the
man that has his quiver full of them: they shall not be
ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the
gate. (Psalm 127 KJV)
I am also reminded tonight of the words of one of my
missionary heroes, Jim Elliot, written to his parents in defense of
his decision to go to the mission field: “Remember how the Psalmist described children? He said that they were as a heritage from the
Lord, and that every man should be happy who has his
quiver full of them. And what is a quiver full of but
arrows? And what are arrows for but to shoot? So, with
the strong arms of prayer, draw the bowstring back and let
the arrows fly — all of them straight at the enemy’s hosts.
“Give of thy sons to bear the message glorious, Give of thy
wealth to speed them on their way, Pour out thy soul for
them in prayer victorious, And all thou spendest Jesus will
repay.”
With each post I have logged for this journey I have been
encouraged by the enthusiastic response from so many friends. I
have noted that most of my friends are delighted at the funny
things that we have encountered along the way and I apologize if
you were looking for some humor in today’s post. I hope you
realize that Eddie is parked for the week and most of the humor is
somehow woven into his existence.
My quiver is full and I am a happy man. I have weapons to
fire at the enemy and they are sharp and eager. I am watching my
boys as they have become great dads and my girls are godly
women and mothers who are more like their mother than they will
ever know. I have especially enjoyed watching Bryan and Gabriel
interact this week as they have maneuvered this mass of humanity
from one event to the next. They have carefully thought through
each activity for the past several days so that we all end up at the
same place at the same time and they are more alike than either of
them realizes.
My heart swelled today as the guide for our African Safari
at the Animal Kingdom declared as we took over his entire safari
truck that, “this family was the most unique and entertaining
family I have ever taken through the park.”
You know what? He’s right, and I am so blessed that my
God is bigger than my failures, stronger than my weaknesses, and
that His grace is greater than my sin and I declare for all this night,
His blessings are richly disproportionate to what I deserve.
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